'Eclipse' isn't for everyone

"Eclipse," the newest production from the suffocating Twilight Saga, was released midnight June 30 and as promised movie theaters were filled to the brim with TwiHards. However with all the buzz and hustle surrounding the film it's hard to determine whether "Eclipse" is worth watching because of its plot or because of the famous actors involved in the project.The film opens with Isabella Swan (otherwise known as "Bella" to those who merely watch the movie) reciting "Fire and Ice" by Robert Frost to her vegetarian-vampire boyfriend, Edward Cullen. They sit within a sunny meadow engrossed in each other as Edward, played by Robert Pattinson, reiterates his proposal of marriage to Bella, played by bobble-head actress Kristen Stewart, who stubbornly refuses. The movie continues with this banter of Edward wanting marriage after 106 years of bachelorhood and Bella denying-but, no, that Austenesque plot is far too mild for "Twilight Saga" author Stephenie Meyer. Rather, Bella is soon to be ambushed by a vengeful vampire named Victoria and 18 bloodthirsty newborn vampires, whose tantrums can actually lead to death. Oh, and of course the Volturi, you know, the Vampire Government, wants Bella to either be a vampire or dead for knowing the secret. No big deal in the life of Bella. It does not aid Bella in the slightest when her werewolf friend Jacob Black, played by the tan and taut Taylor Lautner, confesses his undying love and adoration for the awkward girl and then kisses her leading to a sprained wrist and a simple misunderstanding. Bella is left to choose: either a cold, hard, and shiny, life with Edward whom she insists is her every breath, every heartbeat, and who helps her not stumble through this world, or a warm, rich, and full life with Jacob whom guarantees her children, family, friendship and security. The actors casually throw around bits to poke fun at the overwhelming Team Edward and Team Jacob phenomenon. Edward asks Bella while he drops her off with Jacob, "Doesn't he own a shirt?" Anyone who watched the movie would instantly be able to recall when Jacob announces, "Let's face it, I am hotter than you," meaning literally (the character runs a 108.9 temperature) and also meaning that Team Jacob fans everywhere adore him because he is attractive. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is set to open in over 80 countries by the end of 2010 and has earned approximately $460 million worldwide-obviously, these numbers have everything to do with the fans and nothing to do with the less than average actors. Though these expectations and earnings are staggering they should not influence moviegoers to watch the movie.

********** Published: July 15, 2010 - Volume 9 - Issue 13