Letter to the Editor: Noisemakers

Dear Editor:

I am a motorcycle owner: Therefore, I have a right to make lots of annoying noise. You no longer have a right to quietness. I will steal and destroy it every chance I get. 

I loudly speed through your cities with impunity because your police forces are too gutless or lazy (or bought off) to do anything about it. Satisfying my ego is now all I care about. You quiet people are now meaningless humans. My motorcycle and my noise and my speeding is all that matters. 

I despise you and your quietness. When you can hear our insanely loud motorcycles for as much 1/2-mile away, we are elated at how our noise infiltrates the walls of your homes, and you can’t escape it. When my noisy machine awakens you in the early hours as I speed off to work – too bad for you. When I loudly speed along your not-so-busy streets in the late evening – once again disturbing you – too bad for you. I simply don’t care about you and your well being.

When we straddle lanes on freeways and rev our engines as we pass you by with such loudness that it startles you, that is too bad. You need to get out of our way. We have a motorcycle, therefore we don’t have to be polite. If you die from a startled heart attack, who cares?

I am a dog owner: Therefore, you no longer have right to quietness. My dog is an idiot nuisance barker. This is more important than your quietness. I am not required to train it to be a respectable creature. Nuisance barking dogs are way more important than good feelings among neighbors. My right to own a loud nuisance barking dog is greater than your right to quietness. My dog needs to bark for hours at a time or hundreds of times per day. You, however, do not need or deserve calmed nerves and quiet sleeping time. You need stress from my barking dog, and by god, you will get it. 

The right of my dog to be an impolite nuisance idiot supersedes all of your rights. Better yet, if you could please die or move very far away, then my idiot barking dog wouldn’t bother you.
I am a noisemaker: When I make any noise that shatters your nerves, or make it feel like your heart skips a beat because your are so utterly startled that it traumatizes you, it is of no concern to me. My right to make noise is simply way more important than your right to peace and quiet. 

P.S. If our loud motorcycles and nuisance barking dogs fail to traumatize you, then by golly we will still traumatize you with insanely loud outdoor music. 

Maybe some straight forward honest harshness will finally create an understanding to all concerned.

Jim Beaming