Online dating? Signs she’s too good to be true

Not only have online dating sites opened up a whole new dynamic for singles looking for company – attitudes about the viability of these sites have become more positive. One in five young adults have used a dating site, and they’re growing in popularity with older adults, too.

“I was one of those older adults who found online dating sites to be a convenient way to meet women for potential romance,” says Charles W. Massie, a baby boomer who wrote about his online dating experience in a new novel, “Stains on the Gavel” (

“Middle-aged singles have a smaller pool to draw from because so many men and women are married with families by then. That makes finding love tough.”

Massie suggests these red flags:

•She likes everything about you. No matter how smart, established or successful you may be in other aspects of life, just about everyone of any age loves being love-drunk; it’s not just for teens like Romeo and Juliet. But what are the chances that a smart and very attractive woman, about whom you know next to nothing, likes everything you like, do and are?

“The food I liked, the hobbies I liked, the music I liked and political affiliations were identical to hers,” he says. “That was a red flag.”

•She asks you to move in almost immediately. Most smart young women are somewhat cautious while getting to know a potential new love interest.

“This woman, however, was all too eager for me to leave my home state to move into her home,” Massie says. “That should tell you one of at least two things: she’s either desperate for someone because she’s emotionally unstable, or she has no fear of you, which could mean she’s working an angle.”

• She really is, physically, too good to be true. It’s possible that a hot date that’s “out of your league” will come to love you for who you are – in time! On the other hand, when you weigh all of the conditions that may include the fact that you don’t really know her, nor she you; that you are financially sound and she is not; that she suggests a living situation that’s moving far too fast; that you’ve only known each other for a matter of weeks, and never met in person – “yeah, at that point, you should be at least a little skeptical,” he says.



Published: July 31, 2014 - Volume 13 - Issue 16