From Poor Vlad's Almanack

1. Fish and guests smell in three days, however beware, freshmen and their slang smell in three seconds.2. Put it off 'till tomorrow and you'll do it before the rooster wakes. 3. Make enemies today, get jumped tomorrow. 4. Make friends today, keep them forever. 5. If studying 7 days a week yields poor grades, you're obviously not studying right. 6. Seize the day, or it will seize you... Day tends to brag. 7. Freshmen- potential roadkill; Seniors- population control. What harmony! 8. The strangest people make the most loyal friends. 9. He who asks many questions may get good answers, and later, likely will get good grades. 10. Teacher's pet gets greatest benefits. The envious laugh at him. 11. Your opponents encourage you to practice little before the game. 12. The organized man wastes time organizing. The messy man has not enough time to organize. 13. If you party like there's no tomorrow, you won't remember. 14. The best way to never tell a lie is to never put yourself in the scenario where you need to. 15. Those that play hard to get, fear that they have nothing to offer. 16. The man that works hard will find his less competent friend mopping his floors later. 17. High school is temporary- Good times are remembered, bad times leave scars. 18. Complain plenty, and people will have plenty to complain about you. 19. The best malevolent remarks are the ones kept in a closed mouth. 20. The man who makes aphorisms and puts them in the city newspaper is probably procrastinating on an assignment. ********** Published: January 16, 2009 - Volume 7 - Issue 39

FeaturesEric Pierce